People first used tobacco about 4,000 years before Jesus Christ was born. Per historical research, shamans used the good smoke to perform exorcists on the autistic village rapists so they can stop raping everyone. Thanks to the second-hand smoke and forcing the rapists to smoke, the shamans manage to suppress the rapists’ aggressiveness and their want of rape by utilizing the relaxation benefit of tobacco smoke. Tobacco was only available to the world’s savages until the 16th century. A couple of Jews smoked out some indigenous people and enjoyed all the nicotine benefits. The good Jew in them decided it was a good plant to commercialize and decided to bring it to the western world in the 16th century. It was an instant hit and everyone started smoking, chewing, and snorting the tobacco plant. Why? Because it is a natural nootropic, relaxant, laxative, and confidence booster. Fast forward to today and you have everyone telling you that it’s bad to smoke since it causes cancer and other health problems. In reality, it’s just propaganda from the haters and kids that got bullied in middle school.

What these pussies and haters don’t want you know is that tobacco is a natural nootropic. For the unaware, a nootropic is a drug that improves cognitive function, memory, creativity, and/or motivation in healthy individuals. When you smoke the tobacco it releases nicotine into your lungs. Nicotine-rich blood then passes from the lungs to the brain within seconds, which indirectly promotes the release of neural chemicals in your brain and you instantly become a level 200 wizard. You can research the factual science behind this effect using google, but believe us, this is some good shit. Smoke a cigarette before you start work and watch your performance increase by a tenfold.  We gave some sophomores in high school cigarettes and they represented their GPAs increased by 50%, more books were read and faster, and started taking AP classes (including AP gym). They took a practice ACT and had a score of 34, at the sophomore level. Keep in mind that these kids were just average kids we paid $10 a week for the purpose of this experiment.

There’s a reason why every Asian you see on a college campus smokes and it is because it gives them an edge. Asians have been ahead of the game compared to everyone else because they don’t have liberal cucks in their countries and have zero activism against cigarettes. You can go to any country in Asia and buy a pack of quality squares for less than $2. Don’t believe the nootropic effects of cigarettes? Look at the stats on how far ahead Asians in STEM compared to Americans and its due to the edge they get from smoking. Look around your college campus and you will realize all the smart kids are smokers and Asians that. These kids will always be ahead of the game because they have a constant feed of nicotine in their system.

The nicotine from smoking also acts as a relaxant. Nicotine is a mood-altering drug that smolders feelings of frustration, anger, and anxiety when it’s inhaled. The relaxing effect is why shamans back in the day used tobacco to stop the local village rapist from raping. If more people smoked, there would be no Kony2012s, no mass shootings in Las Vegas, no ISIS, no wife beating, no road rage, no shitting on your bosses desk, etc. We’ve seen this relaxing effect many times when one of our bros at the bar is about to break a bottle containing warm Coors Light over some bar troll’s head. Cigarettes saves more lives than it kills.

Pharmaceutical companies and psychologists don’t want you to know about this relaxing effect because it will put them out of business and they will no longer be able to afford their 30 year, 2k a month mortgage. That’s why these people belong to groups, like Truth, that campaign against cigarettes (something that costs $2 a box in Asia, $10 in the USA) so you can buy medicine that fuck you up for real and attend some therapy thats always useless. Simply put, cigarretes are the most cost effective and efficient means to prevent rage and anxiety stacks. Ignore the mass media, because cigarretes save lives.

If you ever had a Popeyes $5 Big Box, Jimmy Johns, and Taco Bell all in the same night, you will struggle to take a shit when it’s ready to come out. We’re talking about a grunting and sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes. Smoke a cigarette and all that pain will disappear as your stools will slide out with ease like your penis inside a Colombian hooker. When the nicotine hits your gut, it relaxes your intestinal organs and allows your poo slide out with ease. That same relaxing effect you feel in your head also happens throughout your entire body, most people don’t know this. That’s why all the pros developed a routine when it comes to smoking such that they smoke after a meal to expedite the digestive process.

Another indirect positive effect of smoking is that it makes you cool. Normal, average people don’t smoke since they just follow the herd mentality and anti-cigarette propaganda they see on cable news they pay $70 a month. As such, if you smoke, you are different and it so happens that those that smoke are cool. Smoking gives out a vibe that you simply don’t give a shit and that you fuck 10/10s on the reg. Smoking outside is “doing something,” and someone that’s active is an interesting person. That’s why a lot of PUAs use smoking a tool in their arsenal to fuck bitches because these hoes know that smokers can fuck like Rocco Siffredi.

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