You can only achieve and maintain happiness if you’re a generally good person who helps others. – The Black Dragon

Helping other people is a great feeling because it leads to happiness. Have you ever given a girl a squirting orgasm for 10 minutes straight? You know, the gift that keeps on giving? I have, and I felt great after making her squirm like a headless pig in bliss. After accomplishing such a feat, you feel a sudden surge of euphoria travel up your spine, you get the chills, and can’t do anything but smile and feel happy. Its probably because busting nuts feels good but there’s more to this and science has an explanation. When you give a girl some good feels in her vag (keyword: give) and it was accomplished by some good dicking, it not only makes her feel good but it also makes you feel good in a non-sexual way. It’s hard to explain why, but every time you help someone, whether it’s by giving girls orgasms or giving a homeless person some change to help fund their crack habit, you feel great.

Simply put, helping others does lead into happiness. Mahatma Gandhi once said that best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. Science says that giving a gift causes the pleasure and reward centers in your brain to light up as though you were actually receiving a gift. Your body releases endorphins that make you feel great. As such, when you make a girl orgasm, it’s like giving yourself an orgasm. This gift giving science explains why my ex in high school used to be very generous with the track and field team and it makes sense as to why she was always happy. It’s why everyone is happy during Christmas, it’s why rich people give to charities. Giving simply makes you feel good.

Which leads me to the reason for this particular post. If you ever have some loose change in your pocket or single dollar bills and some random homeless person asks you for some spare change, give it to them. It does not matter how they will use the money you give them, that’s out of your control. You’ll get happiness in return and they get to shoot up some Heroin or Fentanyl. You already know that by giving a homeless person some money, you’re spreading love and you’re gaining happiness. You do your good dead for the day, feel happy and they get to feel happy once they get high. Additionally, they may not be a crackhead or a drunk, but you shouldn’t worry about how they spend the money. You have obtained happiness and that’s all that matters. In a perfect world, every homeless guy would be a Dobri Dobrev, but reality is a bitch. That’s why we decided to help you out on how to give to the homeless.

How to Give Homeless People Money Without Funding Their Crack Habits

First of all, we want to clarify, we don’t mind if our money goes to someone’s crack budget, as the only thing we care about is our happiness. However, some of you aren’t as cool as us, so we have devised some ways for you to help them out without funding their vice.

  1. You will mostly find homeless people in urban settings, since there’s a lot cover from the weather, there’s plenty of people to ask for some change, and their crack dealer is down the block. However, a good thing about the city is that people use public transport and public transports cost money. If you have a day pass you’re not using for public transport, give it to the man. If anything, pay for their ride, it shouldn’t cost more than three dollars.
  2. Sometimes you might carry some extra food on you and you can give the homeless that instead of giving them some cash. Most of the time, they will happily take it and leave you alone. The real crackheads will straight up deny food and just want cash. Additionally, sometimes you’ll catch a homeless person panhandling outside a McDonalds. We like to go in, buy our lunch, eat our lunch then go get a big mac and a coke for and hand it over on our way out.
  3. Ask them what they’re going to do with the money. They might say they need some change for food or to stay at a hostel for the night. If you have people skills, you will know when they’re full of shit, then you will know not to give them any. You might get one of those cool bums that straight up tells you they need the cash for some drugs and/or alcohol. Those guys, they get all of my change because they’re honest and honesty gets you into heaven.
  4. You can also vet the homeless person. Do they look hungover? Do they smell like peppermint schnapps? Are they talking to themselves? Do you see any scars on their arms from all the needles? Are they refugees that don’t know any English? The more you’re around homeless, the more you will know if they need some Fentanyl or are hungry.

Remember of this post whenever someone says money doesn’t buy happiness, because it does fucking buy happiness if you’re generous with it.

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