In the last 3-4 years, we have seen an influx of basic Starbucks drinking girls raid one of the last bastions of men: the gym. Women don’t know what they want in life and they certainly don’t know what to do in the gym. It’s decent eye candy for guys that aren’t fags, watching these basic hoes do random workouts in tight yoga pants. It’s always nice to see that thong lining and a pretty face; however, they are crowding up the place with their ineffective workout routines. For the most part, girls have no direction as to what to do in the gym so they do what most basic hoes do: follow a gym routine they liked on Instagram from some depressed lonely Instagram model. These workout regimes just focus on the one muscle: glutes aka dat ass. We don’t know why this fad started years ago but ladies you are wasting your time working your ass to a bigger butt.


Chances are if your great grandmother, grandmother, and mother all have a flat ass, you’re going to have a flat ass. If those same women have big titties, you will have big titties. If they all killed themselves and are suicidal, chances are you will also be suicidal, that’s just how genetics works. There’s no way for you to beat a thousand years of booty evolution unless you cheat by getting silicone or Brazilian implants (when you transfer fat from you fat gut to your flat ass) or your mom fucks some guy with a big ass. You have to accept the fact that you lost the genetic lottery in this part of life. Doing 100 squats and some workout that looks like you’re fucking in the air while lying on the floor isn’t going to get you that ass you wish for if your family tree has buttocks that remind us of the autobahn in Germany.

The only way you’re going to have a big ass is if your genetically predisposed to the big butt genes. No workout is going to get you that big ass you see on Instagram. Every girl you see with a big ass means she won the female genetic lottery. She didn’t have to do a single thing to earn that ass, she was just conceived and was blessed with such genetics. Latina and black women are a prime example of this genetic lottery. Majority of these women have big beautiful butts and these ladies put in little to no work in the gym to rock that ass. These women don’t know what a gym looks like, let alone ever been in one. We know this because we’ve been in the hood and in third world Latin American countries and these girls have no clue what a squat is, all they do is eat and maintain the ideal weight for the ideal ass.

You’re Doing it Wrong

Yes ladies, you’re in the gym thinking you are targeting the glutes but the majority of the time you are working out the hamstrings and your quadriceps. Squats, I repeat squats, do not target the glutes directly. When you squat, the muscles that are activated the most are the quadriceps and hamstrings. You girls think poking out your butt when you squat is going to make your butt bigger (you’re just going to get back problems). We’ve seen countless girls stick to a squat regimen only to have big ass football player sized quads and no ass to show. After squatting for a year, these girls end up looking and walking like a T-Rex on a sexual prowl. All those squats seriously fuck up your body’s proportions, resulting in a look that resembles a bowling pin. If you want to target your glutes, stick to doing hip raises, standing dumbbell lunges, and a lot of stair workouts. That’s it, hit these exercises 2x a week and don’t waste your time doing weird shit in the gym or crowding up the power rack for a toner, not bigger, butt.

Reverse Cowgirl

We may not know that exact reason why girls workout their asses, but if it is to impress men with a toned butt you may be wasting your time. You see the only time we get a nice view of dat ass is when we’re fucking you doggy style or when you’re riding reverse cowgirl. The problem with these sex positions is that doggy gets us too tired and most girls don’t know how to do reverse. When they do reverse, our dick goes in the opposite direction and hurts them or they get tired as well. Looking back, a lot of the sex happens in the classic missionary style or regular cowboy. In these positions, your ass is irrelevant, it does not exist we aren’t able to view and admire the toned aesthetics.

Not Feminine

Lastly, working out in the gym is not feminine behavior. There’s nothing hot about a girl who hits weights, it’s gross and manly and does not give us erections. We don’t care if it is “2017” and it’s time for us to get with the times, lifting weights is simply not feminine behavior. Whoever started this girl lifting trend needs to go play in traffic, because the last 3 years we’ve seen a huge influx in basic bitches hitting the squat rack like never before. Your genetics have the bigger say in your butt size than how many squats you do so stick to doing girly things and stay out of the weight room. By doing so, the weight areas will be less crowded and you’ll be more in line and happier doing your girly shit. All in all, there’s only one muscle that matters on women and it is between your legs.

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