TUSCALOOSA- Technology has people deviating from the ways of our elders, the golden generation, the Baby Boomers. People would rather look at their phones all day or watch Netflix instead of watching Cable TV. Gone are the days when people used to gather around the couch like a bunch of fairies to watch the TV Guide automatically scroll down through the 100 cable channels. Say goodbye to those childish giggles you used to have when you saw Spice TV and Playboy scroll by and you asked your parents what happens in “Debby Does Dallas pt 10.” Back then people did not have the luxury of manually scrolling through the TV guide nor did they have instantaneous streaming. Technology has ruined what has made Americans, Americans. Here at Uhriginal, we are going to remind you why you should keep watching TV and help make American leisure time Great Again (MALTGA!)
Watching Television over the new stuff is less stressful. You have less options available and you are fixated on a set time to watch your show. Instead of manually scrolling through a bunch of shows thrown at you by some fancy algorithm, then a bunch of seasons, then a bunch of episodes, you can just get in the routine of watching Fox News at 8PM and never have to stress of what to watch. Nothing produces more cortisol than having to make a decision of what to watch when you have over 9000 options to choose from, it will make you rip your hair off and kick your Golden Retriever. You will spend more time finding a show to than actually watching a show, and that blows more than a Tijuana crack-whore.
As you watch more TV and less Netflix, you will gain more awareness of your thoughts, actions and emotions. You will notice that you make better decisions, because you make less decisions throughout your day and that compounds into your week. This allows you to fully comprehend other important decisions such as where to have lunch at your shitty job or whether you want to give a homeless person a dollar. Make this a habit, and your life will improve exponentially. By simply watching TV, your mind will slow down and everything else around you will follow suit.
Who doesn’t want to be happier and feel more contentment with life? Watching Television in 2017 is a great way to open up your eyes to life, and really experience all that life has to offer. There’s shows and channels on food, building houses, church, cars, sharks, aboriginals, vacations, tree houses, eating, getting drunk, pimping, the news, politics, technology, wrestling, sports, video games, dating, catfishing, river monsters, the ocean, the African Savanah, the rainforest, obese people, midgets, exorcisms, ghosts, and PORN! Cable Television will help you appreciate life more and feel more connected with the shitty world you live in.
Television Trumps Netflix and streaming every time. There is a ton of science behind the pros of watching TV over the new stuff. It is proven that long-term TV watching makes you more adept to dealing with the ebbs and flows of life. Television has the capability to broaden your consciousness, which in turn will grant you the ability to understand your feelings and thoughts more. The more conscious you become through watching television, the more control you are going to have over your life, and the more like you are going to live happily in your shitty life. Television is better than cocaine, just ask any Baby Boomer out there.